Before I started traveling I would not really date much. When I met someone I really liked we would get to know each other for a while, until we eventually became a couple. I would take our relationship seriously and be very committed until somehow it ended.
If I met someone I was interested in, I would want to know things like, where do you live? Hey, that’s very close to my job. What do you do for a living? That’s awesome! What do you do for fun? I love dancing too! Next weekend? That sounds like fun! Sure, I would love to join you. Score ;)
The first 3 months of my trip I had a boyfriend, so of course dating wasn’t even an issue. If I met anyone on the road, I automatically looked at them as just friends. If they showed romantic interest in me I would just mention my boyfriend and politely decline. Loyalty is huge for me, a no brainer, which keeps me grounded and makes situations like these easy to deal with.
Now that I am single, dating while traveling is an option, but a bit different and a little more complicated. Maybe because it feels less like “dating” and more like having “flings”, which I never really liked or preferred. Call me old fashioned, but even if they can be a lot of fun, they are mostly superficial and get old pretty fast. Unfortunately, it seems like “flings” is the only type of “dating” other travelers I have met so far want or can have, due to time restrictions, difference in travel plans and downright just being emotionally unavailable.
I have noticed how us long term travelers can become a little “immune” to deep human connections. Even if we really like someone one day, we make ourselves be totally cool to part ways with them the next. It is an unwritten code, even if I really like you and would love to spend more time with you, I will not try to change your travel plans and you will not try to change mine. If we coincide somewhere else in the world later and still feel the same way, then we can get to know each other on a different level, maybe.
After traveling for almost a year, I have also become careful not to get too close to other travelers since most likely we will never see each other again after we part ways. Now when I meet someone I’m interested in, these are basic things I wanna know before I allow myself to like them even a bit. Where are you from? I still haven’t been. Where have you traveled? How cool, I still haven’t been! Where are you headed? Me too! Score ;)
After getting to know them a bit more, I ask myself, will this just be a sexual relation or can it be something more? Does he feel the same way? If so, will either one of us adjust our travel schedules so we can spend more time together?? I don’t wanna change my travel plans! I hope he wants to change his =) If he does, he can become what someone I recently “dated” referred to as “travel boyfriend.” I’m new at this and can only guess that means that you are only a couple for as long as you travel together. I thinks this is a very technical term which is also missing something I’m all about, romance. Yes, I am a romantic and wanna keep it that way, thank you very much.
I am very happy to be on my own making my dream of traveling around the world come true and enjoying every minute of myself. However, I gotta admit that when I meet couples traveling together I too fantasize about one day sharing my experience with someone special. I’m not just talking about a “travel boyfriend” either, which to me still sounds too superficial and detached. I’m talking about having a nice deep relationship with a wonderful guy, who loves to travel and has similar values to mine.
All this talk of dating and flings just inspired the romantic in me. I mean there is nothing more attractive than a man who has taken the same leap of faith as I in order to travel around the world. Of course smart funny and either love to cook or eat pretty much everything are traits I find just damn sexy. And yes a sensitive and emotionally available type of guy is so romance inspiring. Don’t have to be a great dancer, but definitely be a fun one to dance with. These are always huge awesomeness scores in my book ;)
Thinking of dating and traveling, I can’t help but wonder what will happen when wonderful guy crosses my path somewhere in the world. I picture our conversation going something like this. You love history? Let me tell you the real story behind Thanksgiving! You hate injustice? I agree, immigrant rights are human rights. Love to eat anything at least once? Yes, the chapulines in Oaxaca were awesome. You love to dance? Let me show you my salsa moves. Can’t stop singing? I know what you mean. People think you are crazy? Funny, I can relate. You want to come with me to Japan? Score ;)